And some of the rumours are not. I did not get run over by a fire truck and I'm not dead. Some versions come close but none are accurate. To clear up the confusion here's the accident report.
I wasn't doing 60, I was probably closer to 45 or 50. In any case the x-rays suggest this is still too fast. But what would you expect, poll position at the top of a hill with right-of-way for the next Km? And milk it I did, the traffic behind content to keep station and let the mongoose maintain lead down the steep bit of Brunker Road, and with 50 clicks at the begining of the straight I was confident to be at the fire station in under 10 minutes. Acceleration and velocity were on tap bolstered by the only southerly tailwind so far this winter. The only place better is 10'000' heading for the horizon.
The first cross street, Yarrum St, was filled with a lone stationary taxi, a wagon, one of those high versions built for carrying the disabled. On reflection it reads like a cautionary tale with ominous signs of warning and potential disaster. At the time it seemed like fun: free, speed, and breeze through the hair. Further down the road the law abiding vehicle patiently waited to give way to the oncoming stream of traffic with a pushbike rider leading the peloton.
Speed is life and the wind in the face at 50kph is one of life's true pleasures but a car waiting at an intersection is not necessarily a sign that all is safe and sound. Disc brakes don't make a bike slow any quicker and fast reflexes don't increase friction between tire and tar. Humans are the only mammal capable of doing a complete backward bend and we have the most flexible spine out of all primates. Armed with all these good and bad bits of info I hurtled down hill head-first and dumb to any danger ahead, happy without a care in the world and only wishing gravity was at least double it's value. Awesome :-)
Many factors conspired to deliver a moment in time now only seconds away. These laws of physics are likely to inflict a fair bit of pain but you never do know what the exact wreckage will be. Could be bad, could be real bad. There were crumple zones available but my body accounted for most of them. With a car length or two spare the taxi floored it apparently in an effort to clear the SUV that was right on my tail. He must have seen me? No. He hadn't. His tires skidded a little over eager to beat the on-coming traffic. He was busy no doubt, always in a rush is the cabbie's lot. It was friday night afterall with many people to pick-up and drop off. A target rich environment so to speak. It was all down hill from here.
How is the fuselage going to fare? It is the deceleration that bends hardware and there was plenty on offer. What load can a ligament handle. Internal organs? It is healthy to be lean but then again visceral fat is great padding. Bugger. How long does it take to heal? How long is piece of string? Can a human body plow into a lump of metal that weighs several 100kg and bounce of it. Sure it can.
I was on the brakes in a nanosecond but kinetic energy has an exponential bit: v-squared, this making the few remaining metres approach no slower than the initial 50kph. A lot of things were debated over the next second or two. Once again it all seemed to take ages: focus became sharp and calm and ready for whatever was coming. Time slowed right down and many clear thoughts came and went all thoroughly considered and accurately assessed. Maybe I could lay the bike over and use the body to pull up before connecting with the taxi. Losing bark is preferable to braking bones. Immediately the option was not one, not enough time and not enough space. Is this going to hurt? No doubt. The die was cast. The camber of the road had the rear wheel sideslipping to the left. I could see the exact point where we'd meet: dead centre driver's side rear passenger door. The mind's eye foresaw an impact side-on, my left side into the right side of the cab, bike's front wheel still pointing downhill, helmet protecting the head, a lot of contact between body and car. A perfect prediction it turned out.
I thought of taking flight over the roof. That part seemed OK but the landing on the road somewhere beyond other side of the cab didn't, and such a trajectory can break backs. The wagon was just too high anyway. The closer I got the more I braced. Plenty of time to think of many things. If you want to break your collarbone this is the best way by far. The rotator cuffs were a real worry, so important but very fragile. They would be at the coal face very soon. Neither structure fares well at all in this side-on impact doing this speed. Will I be in hospital and for how long. The hindbrain took over, I was going to bend and fold and wrap to pull all force away from this point of impact, as much as physically possible. You'd be amazed what the body can pull off.
A GoPro set on 120fps would have shown how good the neck can wrap around the roof of a cab sideways. Immediately I knew the shoulder was toast, how bad remained to be seen. Before I hit the ground all intent was on nursing the lame left arm that felt paralised. I bounced twice, once off the cab and then off the road and used the second rebound as the start for getting off the road. I didn't look but knew the traffic behind were not far away and approaching so clearing out of their way was the only aim. On the way there my bike appeared off to the right, all bent and mangled. I grabbed it in stride with the right hand and kept moving, let go of it at the gutter on the way and fell to my knees on the nature strip. The right hand had already grabbed the left forearm to support all it's weight. It had copped a pizzling and now needed a bucket load of TLC.
There was a lot of pain but different to a break. Mmm, a dislocation? They are supposed to be very very painful. I looked. No obvious deformity. I felt for a fracture but found none. Things were looking up. I was at the John in 20 minutes and in x-ray 15 after that. A grade 1-2 Ac separation. No breaks, no tears, a fair bit of pain, and a full recovery sometime soon. The bike needs replacing. Time off work and no flying but it's winter. So many people have said I'm so unlucky, again. No way, I got off lightly, again.
Must have been born under a lucky star.
